Air biscuit, backfire, bark, barking spider, blast off, break wind, breezer, Bronx cheer, buck-snort, burp, cough, cushion- creeper, cut the cheese, down wind, drop a bundle, drop your lunch, gasbag, Passing-Gas..
Last year on March 7th, I had a massivo surgery…They tore through my guts for a 2nd time. The first time, I was dying from peritonitis poison (from a ruptured appendix.) The Doc sent me home to DIE in 2007. Anyway.. they tore a foot-long scar right through my stomach. Owww! Long story short.. They didn’t rid my body of all the bacteria. So, not only did I have a hysterectomy last year, in 2012- they cleaned out my guts (YUCK!)
Ever since this happened, it never fails; 7PM every night, I start the farting. And, man-o-man – is it some gas! Rips right through my poor derierre! Its just so dang embarrassing. My poor husband.. Get a load of me, the old gasbag. Shit. I am the TOP cheese when it comes to gasbags for real. I would never want to write about this, but I really have more men that like me here on the sphere..so, what the hell. Anyhow, I have come to accept that this will be my plight for another half year. I like to watch Pastor-Gas. Makes me feel not so alone. I know this is really quite gross. But, nothing makes someone laugh more than hearing a real loud FART! One thing I have never understood since this happened: Why do people lean forward to fart? Strange. There are all types of farts, too. They all sound different. One is uniquely different than the next. Some, for instance, really are cheese-cutters. Others are loud and obnoxious. Some are silent and deadly. I don’t even say; “Whoever smelt it dealt it”, because everyone KNOWS its ME!
Whatever the case may be; Farters of the world unite. Let’s pass the gas!
I just had to ‘let it out!’