Tags
But I Must Talk About My Flatulation Issue..., CUT THE CHEESE, Gas, I Know This Is Sooo Bad, LOLZ, Pastor Gas
Air biscuit, backfire, bark, barking spider, blast off, break wind, breezer, Bronx cheer, buck-snort, burp, cough, cushion- creeper, cut the cheese, down wind, drop a bundle, drop your lunch, gasbag, Passing-Gas..
Last year on March 7th, I had a massivo surgery…They tore through my guts for a 2nd time. The first time, I was dying from peritonitis poison (from a ruptured appendix.) The Doc sent me home to DIE in 2007. Anyway.. they tore a foot-long scar right through my stomach. Owww! Long story short.. They didn’t rid my body of all the bacteria. So, not only did I have a hysterectomy last year, in 2012- they cleaned out my guts (YUCK!)
Ever since this happened, it never fails; 7PM every night, I start the farting. And, man-o-man – is it some gas! Rips right through my poor derierre! Its just so dang embarrassing. My poor husband.. Get a load of me, the old gasbag. Shit. I am the TOP cheese when it comes to gasbags for real. I would never want to write about this, but I really have more men that like me here on the sphere..so, what the hell. Anyhow, I have come to accept that this will be my plight for another half year. I like to watch Pastor-Gas. Makes me feel not so alone. I know this is really quite gross. But, nothing makes someone laugh more than hearing a real loud FART! One thing I have never understood since this happened: Why do people lean forward to fart? Strange. There are all types of farts, too. They all sound different. One is uniquely different than the next. Some, for instance, really are cheese-cutters. Others are loud and obnoxious. Some are silent and deadly. I don’t even say; “Whoever smelt it dealt it”, because everyone KNOWS its ME!
Whatever the case may be; Farters of the world unite. Let’s pass the gas!
I just had to ‘let it out!’
You have joined the Bovine, MJ. Culpable of Green House gas!! LOL.
Not wanting to be nosey, but since you brought up the subject I’m curious…why will it be another half-year?
Simethicone is a good medication.
I am sorry for your plight, it must be very uncomfortable to have all the gas pressure in your poor belly. What happens in half a year, do they think they can do something to help you? An old family remedy for tummy trouble is homemade tea where you take cinnamon bark and a few pieces of clove (not the kind of tea you buy, you gotta do it the old fashioned way for it to work right) and boil in water, then strain the tea and you can add a lil sugar or honey but it tastes fine plain, and drink it. It helps with the “gripe” feeling – I don’t know if it would do anything for the farts, but it can help with the cramping that tends to accompany that sort of problem.
Dunno Karol!
Thats just my gut instinct!
LOL! Just wondering here…as one who suffered more than one bout of a severely painful intestinal sickness…I have found some dietary changes have helped…ever consider eating gluten-free/grain-free? I am OUT OF PAIN since changing my diet.
Zilla’s tea would be great, so would a good grade of peppermint tea (Heather’s Tummy Mint for example) possibly be helpful.
Lol
OK!!!
Am laughing so hard here that it hurts( i know it’s not a laughing matter). Thanks for making my day. Perhaps if MO passes gas,it’d help her disposition. Despite the Pepsodent grin at d inaugration,she looked sour! Anyway,am off to bed! As we say in Naija, O daro(GOODNITE! See u in the morning)
Crying!!! I never laughed so hard in all my life!! Thanks for sharing. Halleluyah the heavens are opening up, rrrrrriiiiippppppp! lmao
HAHAHA, LOVE that pastor GAS!!
ROFL
Hey Ver:
See my post on Tommy Motolla, these MALES dont like it!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
This might work, MJ!
http://www.upgrademotoring.com/performance/strupp/T41101%20
SCION%20AXLE%20BACK%20%20MUFFLER%20With%20Logo.jpg
Here’s a temporary fix until you get the hardware installed. Cheap and effective.
http://static3.depositphotos.com/1004757/199/i/950/depositphotos_1991829-Blank-wine-cork.jpg
I bet you’re a blast at parties, huh? You can accompany yourself when you sing show tunes. For ex, an explosive rendition of ’76 trombones’!
Just kidding.
bbbbblllllaaaaap!